So okay, I did it. I graduated college, I graduated yoga teacher training. Now I'm here. I made it to the dream location of Boulder, Colorado. What now you ask?
13 August 2016:
I wake up early, walk out my back door to sit on my back porch. I begin to listen to the birds, gaze upon the flat irons, close my eyes to meditate, and then crazy Joe (the neighbor) begins yelling.. Are you serious? I think to myself that this yelling will seize shortly. The longer I sit, the louder he gets.
I am going to go on a bike ride. I put air in my tires, find my helmet, grab my lock, put on my cycling shoes, fill up my water, and I am out the door. I proceed up Table Mesa (keep in mind that I am new to the area and altitude still kills me). This bike ride is insane! Will I even make it up the hill? Cyclists are blowing by me in what seems to be a single file line, just one after another. I am loosing hope here.
I pull over as some dude rides past me and tells me that I am almost there. I am breathing hard, sweat is dripping down my back, I am discouraged. I start walking down a little path with my bike and cycling shoes in hand. Luckily I always keep extra shoes in my backpack.
I lock my bike up to a fence and begin to hike up a little hill named Skunk Trail. As I hike, I notice that I am not as out of breath as the first time I hiked in Colorado. I keep going up and I notice..
Wow, I have not been very nice to myself today.
You would think that sitting out on a porch, riding a bike, and hiking would be relaxing. Due to my mind chatter, these activities were actually causing stress rather than eliminate it. I keep hiking. As I get to the top I feel small. Looking at the city of Boulder, I find my house, I find the dance studio, I find the yoga studio, and I am grateful. Here I am. I am living in the mountains. I have a place to do yoga. I have a place to dance. I have a place to rest my head at night. I am so lucky.
I come across a beautiful tree. If any of you know me, then you know how obsessed I am with trees. This tree is thick and healthy. The root system is vast. The leaves are blowing in the mountain breeze, green in luster.
I stop in my tracks, look around to find nobody. I begin Sun Salutation A. I Inhale my arms up the sky. I exhale with a flat back to foreword fold. Inhale, rise to flat back. Exhale into plank position down to chaturanga dandasana. Inhale to up-dog, urdva mukha shvanasana. I see the sky. I notice the fluffy, cotton candy clouds. Exhale hips up and back into downward-facing dog, adho mukha shvanasana. Upsideown and in between my legs, I see the sky and the mountains. It looks like the mountains are dipping into the sky. During my five breaths here in down-dog, I am still feeling grateful.
I love myself enough to go for it, to chase my dreams.
Letting go of how hard I was on myself earlier this morning, I accept love. Ahimsa. I am practicing ahimsa in this very moment. I surrender to the newness of not being enough, and not ready, and I accept that I am here, on the path, and things will eventually happen. Non-violence to myself.
I begin to think of how awesome it would be to have my friends with me. I could teach a bomb yoga class on this high I'm feeling right now. I am out in nature, practicing ahimsa & BOOM!!!
AHIMSA BY NATURE
I want people to gather outside. I want my fellow humans to connect with themselves, nature and each other. Let's embrace our struggle. We all have one. Let's acknowledge that everyone experiences strife, abandonment, trials, loneliness, hell. We also experience happiness, glee, euphoria, bliss. This, my friend, is life. We are all doing it together. So let's move our bodies in recognition of that process. Let's process information like a computer. Let's process our shit going through the 5 koshas. Don't know what that is? Come find out! Welcome all!! Welcome to you.
You are Ahimsa by Nature.